needed, clearer instructions

[Grandpa]

There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to
pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that
she was referring to my credit card.

.. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

.. They need to make their instructions to us *seniors* a little clearer!

[dinosaur]

I certainly hope they were playing the proper background music for your disrobing. Did they get it on tape?

[wvbreamfisherman]

No doubt it's on the security cameras.

Reminds me of a story. This older lady comes to visit her doctor. She tells the doctor that her husband has lost interest in sex. She says she's tried to get him to talk to the doctor about it, but he refuses.

The doctor thinks about it for a bit, then hands the old lady some pills. "These are something new. It's a very powerful aphrodisiac. Slip one of these in his coffee at breakfast, and it should get him very interested. Please be sure to let me know how it works."

A couple of weeks later, the old lady comes limping into the doctor's office. The doctor is a bit aghast. "What happened to you? Did the pills have something to do with that limp?"

"Well, yes and no", the old lady replies. "I slipped the pil into his coffee at breakfast, just like you told me. Well in a couple of minutes he got so excited he ripped off his clothes and mine and threw me onto the table and made love to me for almost 40 minutes! It was fantastic. I was screaming and hollering, it was so good!"

"So, how did you get the limp?"

"Well we were so excited that we fell off the table onto the floor, and I bruised my hip."

"Was that all?"

The old lady blushed. "Well, no- we were still excited and we went at it for another 20 minutes on the floor."

"Wow! I'm sorry you got hurt, but I guess the pills were a success!"

The old lady blushed even more. "Oh yes, they were definitely a success! Of course, we can't ever go back to that McDonalds!!"

Thanks folks, you've been a marvelous audience. I'll be here all week! Please don't forget to tip your server. ;-)

[Marshmallow]

This is hilarious and just what I needed to get me up and going this morning. Now if I can remember the jokes to tell my story. He's always looking for good stuff to tell at his work.

[Gondor]

I bet you had a face "why so serious?" while stripping. One thing that annoys me is that today's mantra is that people try to be polite even in the face of such awkward situations, like you said: "I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future." 30 years ago someone would be chasing you around the store for that. But, kudos for quick thinking Grandpa.

[campclose]

One of my good buddies sent me this joke today through the internet. I can see him falling for it to be honest. I laughed so hard when I read it the first time. Thanks for sharing with everyone.

[Hikenhunter]

hahahahahahahahahahhahehehehehehehehahahhahahahha Thanks for the laughs.

[ChadTower]

Originally Posted by Gondor

I bet you had a face "why so serious?" while stripping. One thing that annoys me is that today's mantra is that people try to be polite even in the face of such awkward situations, like you said: "I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future." 30 years ago someone would be chasing you around the store for that. But, kudos for quick thinking Grandpa.

Benny Hill made a career out of that.

[Gondor]

I guess that's true but it still annoys me how we became so pussified as a society. I'm really sorry about the expression but I can't find a better term to define that.

[ChadTower]

Come to MA/RI/NY/NJ. Here people wouldn't know polite if you showed them a 15 minute tutorial before asking them about it.