Two Eskimos

[CozInCowtown]

The wit of Scots

A Greek and a Scotsman were sitting in a Starbucks cafe discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well we Greeks built the Parthenon" and arched his eyebrows.


The Scotsman replies, "Well... it was the Scots that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."

The Scotsman, nodding in agreement says, "Scots were the ones who built the first timepieces and calendars."

And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says,
"The Greeks were the ones who invented sex!"

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that is true, but it was we Scots who introduced it to the women!"

[jason]

Not really a joke, but I think this is more like if Charlie Mops wrote as Dr Seuss. Sure beats green eggs and ham.

I drink my beer from bottles or from cans
or right out of the tap where it stands
I drink it out of jars
under bridges or in bars
sometimes I do not even use my hands

I drink it out of Styrofoam or glass
I drink it on a Sunday after mass
I drink it till I think
I couldn't take another drink
then I drink until I fall upon my ...

[CozInCowtown]

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in
the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot . .

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

'We missed the R !

We missed the R !

We missed the R !

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?'

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, 'The word was... 'CELEB R ATE !!!'

[CozInCowtown]

On a train from London to Manchester , an Australian was berating the
Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.

"You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much.
You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us.
Look at me... I'm ME! I have Italian blood, Greek blood, a little Irish
blood, and some Aborigine blood.
What do you say to that ?"

The Englishman replied, "Awfully sporting of your mother, old chap!"