Two Eskimos

[Judy Ann]

How did you do that oldsarge and thank you for the picture to complete the story?! :-)

[oldsarge]

Kind of creepy though....In second grade I had a nun give me a black eye...and that's no joke!

[Judy Ann]

That was thoughtful of you to protect her during her seizure.

[oldsarge]

Originally Posted by Judy Ann

That was thoughtful of you to protect her during her seizure.

What did I miss?

[oldsarge]

Originally Posted by Judy Ann

How did you do that oldsarge and thank you for the picture to complete the story?! :-)

I found the joke on line, copied the URL for the photo and posted it here. I'm actually surprised it worked, normally I can't do anything on a computer without hours of trial and error.

[Pathfinder1]

All good ones, sarge...!!





Never throw a hand grenade uphill.

[Pathfinder1]

Hi...


Oldsarge, you out did yourself this time...excellent funnies...!!

[EddieK47]

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said "Do you have any Rye bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?" He said, "I want 5 loaves."

She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves ... By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."

He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this stuff but me."

[EddieK47]

>
> Scotch with two drops of water.
>
> A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,
>
> 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today...'
>
> The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.'
>
> As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'
>
> The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'
>
> 'Coming up,' says the bartender
>
> As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.'
>
> The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'
>
> 'Coming right up,' the bartender says.
>
> As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'
>
> The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'

[oldsarge]

The Fence

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over sixty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

"Yes", she says, "I remember it well." "OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" "Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle, he thinks to himself, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?" Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Sixty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."