We are Doomed through Stupidity

Grandpa

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And we though Stella and Darwin awards were bad

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom)
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
...
On Sainsbury's peanuts --
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding --
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Doritos --
You could be a winner!
No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap --
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners --
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Nytol Sleep Aid --
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???.....)

On most brands of Christmas lights --
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor --
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts --
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume --
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw --
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread
the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to
(maybe even chuckle)...

Blessed are the cracked:
for it is they who let in the light
 

Grandpa

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I realize some of the Darwin and Stella awards and possibly some of these may be fabricated but in the words of Larry, the Cable guy,"I don't care who ya are, that's funny".
 

oldsarge

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Thanks, I enjoyed that Now you have me checking all the labels in the house!
 

Grandpa

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I just checked a planters cashew can in my desk. "Alergen information; contains cashews, .....

All I can say is what has our judicial system done to us?
 

hikingprincess

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Oh my Lord I am really glad I read this one. It made me laugh so hard. The funny thing is they don't put the warnings on there unless someone was actually stupid enough to try what you are warning against. My blow dryer says not to use it in the bath tub (which seems like it might be counterproductive).
 

hippieP

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Everyone needs a good laugh sometimes and I find weird stuff like this all the time when I am out shopping. Next time I hit up the store I will have to remember to snag a few pictures on my phone.
 

rayne

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hikingprincess your are exactly right. In order to have the warning, some idiot must have tried it at one time or another, sued the company and hence the warning. I did get a good laugh from these though, didn't you?
 

Grandpa

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Yes, these are all the result of the Stella Awards. You remember Stella? Stella Liebeck? You should remember her or at least her claim to fame.

Stella Awards - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

And, of course, there are the Darwin Awards. These are given to certain individuals so their families could make the Stella award lists so we could all laugh at the silly warning labels that started this thread.:tinysmile_fatgrin_t:tinysmile_fatgrin_t

http://darwinawards.com/darwin/
 
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dinosaur

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These are actual newspaper headlines:

County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds
(Did we elect these people?)

Volunteers search for old civil war planes
(Yeah. Let me know how that works out.)

Army vehicle disappears.
(Apparently this was right after it received a camouflage paint job. I'm thinking - excellent paint job!)

Caskets found as workers demolish mausoleum
(DUH........)

TEN COMMANDMENTS
Supreme Court say some OK, some not
(We get to choose?)

Utah Poison Control Center reminds everyone not to take poison
(This pretty much negates the labelling defense.)

Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
(Wow! What are the odds?)

Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25
(This must be a more serious problem than I thought. I would have guessed 19.)

One armed man applauds the kindness of strangers
(Uhhhhhh........no?)



I wonder if any of the journalists who wrote this stuff are on the list for a possible Pulitzer? I always get a kick out of reading the newspaper. I wonder what it takes to become a respected journalist, and, of course, respected by whom?
 
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